No.
|
Paragraph
|
Information in Include
|
1
|
Introduction and Thesis
Statement
|
By using private health
insurance it will reduce the illness in Indonesia
|
2
|
Argument 1 supporting evidence
/Concession /Solution
|
The taxe is not enough for free
Healthcare. According to KEMENKEU in Indonesia we use taxes abaout Rp 45.553,9
B for healthcare, Which is very helpfull for people in indonesia but that is
not enough to make the healthcare become free.
|
3
|
Argument 2 supporting evidence
/Concession /Solution
|
Private Health Insurance is not
expansive. Based on BPJS the lowest cost for becoming the costumer of the
insurance is about Rp. 19.255-Rp 23.000. Beside that by using private health
insurance means we are cooporating to against the illness. As we know not all
of the members of insurance get sick, therefore we use that money to fight
the illness.
|
4
|
Argument 2 supporting evidence
/Concession /Solution
|
Private Health Insurance is very
useful in emergency situation. As a human we don’t know what will happen in
the future, we could be healthy or could be sick.
|
5
|
Rebutle
|
Some of people said private
insurance is making a gap in services
within hospital especially in hospitalized patients.
Well, it doesn’t metter,
because what we need is the disease is healed. And if we want a good place we
could use a high grade of insurance. We can’t equalize between people who are
paying more for the service who are paying less for the service
|
6
|
Conclusion
|
I believe that the better ways
to pay healthcare is by using private health insurance.
|
Have you ever heard about, how is the country get the incomes for its country? And where they spend it? In Indonesia we get the income for the interests of the country is by collecting the taxes from the people in that country. Therfore the governments ultilize the taxes for the public facilities such as public transportations, roads, educations, healthcares and etc. Recently, people are discussing about the facilities of the healthcare, they were asking the government to fund free healthcare through taxes rather than pay themself by private health insurance. As a student, what do we think about it? Do we agree or disagree? According to my research, I will stated that the better way to solve the health problems is by using private health insurance.
The first reason is, taxes are not enough to fund free Healthcare. As we know tax in Indonesia is the biggest income, however that amount of income is still not enough for the interests of indonesia. According to KEMENKUE, in 2019 the incoming from tax is about Rp 1786,38 T. It is a big number of income, but that taxes are allocated in some of part such us public service, defense, order and security, economy, healthcare and etc. So that cause the budget for healthcare is only about Rp 45.553,9 B. This amount of number is helping people in indonesia in the part of healthcare, however the truth until now is, healthcare is still cannot be free.
Another reason is, private health insurance is the right choice rather than fund free healthcare through taxes. Beacause the cost of insurance payment is cheap, so the private health insurance can be used by poor people. Based on BPJS the lowest cost t for becoming the costumer of the insurance is about Rp. 19.255-Rp 23.000. Beside that by using that private health insurance, means we are cooporating to against the illness. As we know BPJS is obligated for all civil servants, which means many people using that private health insurance, and based on BPJS about more than 77% people in Indonesia using that insurance which means we get a big income from that. The question is, will everyone get sick together? Of course not, maybe about more than half of them is healthy, therefore we use the income from the healthy people to use it to people who gets sick.
And also Private Health Insurance is very useful in emergency situation. As a human, we don’t know what will happen in the future, we could be healthy or could be sick. However, the problem is for poor people who can’t pay high payment. Its happened with one of my family, he has experienced using private health insurance. In that time he gets heart attack, however he didn’t have much money to cure that disease. Fortunately, he has private health insurance and finally he can undergo the surgery.
Despite, Some of people said private insurance is making a gap in services within hospital especially in hospitalized patients. Well, It doesn’t metter, because what we need is the disease is healed. And if we want a good place we could use a high grade of insurance. We knew that we can’t equalize between people who are paying more for the service who are paying less for the service. Logically, is it simillar between 1 million and 1 thousand, of course not.
Healthcare is one of the big problem in the world, so we have to find the best way to minimize the sickness. Many systems have been implemented to solve the health problems. However, not all of the systems could solve it. That is why we have to choose between fund Free Healthcare through taxes or citizens pay themselve with private health insurance. Based on my statement above, I believe the best way to solve health problem is by implementing private health insurance.
I think there no mistake
BalasHapusis it "KEMENKUE" or "KEMENKEU"...?
BalasHapusOke i have fix it bro, thanks for remaining
HapusI think this is a very good essay, but I think it will be better if you use small letter for 'it' instead of 'It' after the first comma, in the outline for the 5th paragraph
BalasHapusthank you for the correction cent
HapusI can't find any mistake here
BalasHapusIts good enough. I think there is no mistake anymore
BalasHapusJust a bit of grammar check from me,
BalasHapusI think the first line would be a better fit if you write, "do you know where a country get its income from and how do they spend it?"